For those who visit here for the first time and happen to read this as their first post, this is my domain for becoming a writer. I initiated this blog in January 2023 with that specific purpose in mind. It has also become about the stories of others I want to capture.

I’ve realized that I don’t necessarily have to publish any of my writings. I can craft stories for my own enjoyment, and no one else has to be aware of them. In fact, that’s precisely what I’ve been doing with my book. However, today, I felt compelled to reflect on my year.

Christmas holds a special place in my heart as my favourite holiday. This year, though, I find myself lacking the usual festive spirit. I require a reset, and heading to the UK provides that much-needed break from everything and everyone. Hopefully, it will also create a more expansive space for my writing. I’ll be flying to Gatwick on December 25th and 24th to visit my family, as my daughter spends this Christmas with her dad.

I haven’t decorated a Christmas tree, and finding something special for my loved ones has felt overwhelming. I did manage to get my daughter her very first diary with keys; it’s golden.

As for my writing, I’m confused about the direction to take. It’s not that I can’t write—I’ve been quite prolific, especially in December. I’ve been diligently working on my first prose book, which I plan on self-publishing by the summer of 2024.

However, the additional commitments beyond my original intentions have drained a considerable amount of my energy. For instance, I’ve been dealing with various bouts of illness, mostly different flu strains, for the past three months. While I enjoy attending events and meeting new people, I also cherish my alone time. At times, I’ve felt like I’ve connected with the wrong people, but I’ve hesitated to walk away instantly. That’s about to change.

I had envisioned that 2023 would be more manageable than 2022, but it has proven challenging, mainly because I lack a close adult confidant to keep me grounded. It would truly help, and I feel the absence keenly.

Over the past two years, I’ve learned to sort things out in my head—an excellent skill to have. However, I can’t help but worry that I might become too self-sufficient, to the point where I don’t feel the need for anyone else.

This year has been tough for many, and sometimes, I find it challenging to bear the sensitivity that allows me to feel it. Yet, as a writer, it is a valuable skill. While I may still be working on consistency and knowledge, I possess the two most essential skills: sensitivity to understanding people and attention to detail.

I’m not particularly eager to go grocery shopping for a specific reason—I quickly sense people’s emotions, and the atmosphere in the store is not always positive. I usually drown out the noise with music or podcasts, minimizing interactions. That’s why I’ve tried to avoid last-minute Christmas shopping as well.

Being sensitive also alters my perception of people. I’m a terrible liar and distance myself from conversations revolving around gossip about colleagues or friends. I’m done with negativity altogether.

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, but I do plan on being bold in 2024 and living on my terms without succumbing to anyone else’s expectations. I intend to trust my intuition and promptly walk away from people and situations when it feels like it’s not my place to be. Perhaps this change will contribute to my personal growth.

Nevertheless, I don’t intend to be a party pooper. Christmas is a beautiful holiday, even though, in my opinion, it has become overly commercialized. I encourage you to rest and recharge, not just during the Christmas season, but make it a daily practice for the upcoming year. My flight on the 24th first takes me to Helsinki, where I’ll meet Vanessa. She is visiting Finland for the Christmas. She plans to visit Rovaniemi, and we’ll reunite on the 29th to spend New Year’s Eve together in London.

During a conversation with an entrepreneur colleague about writing, he told me that he’d read my book. I had expressed uncertainty about whether to write fiction or delve into more theoretical aspects. To him, the answer was clear—I should write fiction because I am a storyteller. So, fiction it is.

Merry Christmas,
Be kind & don’t go changing,
x Heidi