The deep end

Published: March 2, 2023
Author: Heidi Uskaure
Hi! My name is Heidi, and I have been a business owner for five years. At the moment, I write casually, but I aim to be a professional writer.

I decided to leave social media for a while. I deleted Instagram and TikTok. LinkedIn, I decided to keep it for now due to business meetings. I wanted to test what it would be like to spend three months without it all, and I will only be returning if it feels right and I have set boundaries for myself. How would I feel?

Sugar-covered truths

I have written posts with courage on Instagram. It’s the platform I like the most. I love the content I am following, and there are many inspiring content creators, business owners, and kind souls with hearts of gold.

I have always lived for stories. Perhaps, due to the very reason that my life hasn’t been easy. It takes persistence, determination, discipline, and a positive attitude to turn the phase of being caught in the black and white photograph to bring in the colors. Struggles force you to the path of enlightenment, giving you two ways to live—a victim or a victor. The easier route is being a victim. You can live your life telling yourself, “Poor me.” Or you can grow so full of yourself that you become a well-oiled machine of discipline, and you no longer give yourself excuses. Just remember, not everyone is supposed to understand the new you.

My break-up threw me to the deep end. I was a victim for a while before I learned about the growth mindset. I have always been quite the survivor; life never really gave me the option to be something else. I fought Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when I was 17. I went through 12 chemotherapies. But over the years, I forgot that mentality. I liked the idea that maybe life isn’t about surviving. I forgot who I was.

Studying business coaching opened how comfortably I had decorated my little life bubble. Initially, I wanted to change, but I didn’t want to do the work. It was hard to understand that growth and change set you on a damn lonely path. I have lost a few people and can’t expect people to understand what has happened to me. I can only save myself. While going through the change, it happens; the door size is only fit for me, and I can’t help anyone else while going through that door. None of these things I have gone through suddenly makes me any better person, but it has given me a catalyst for wanting to change. How much different would the world be if we talked about these things out loud? The loneliness, heartache, mental health, and bullying.. to name a few.


Do I always dive into the deep end?

Am I always brave enough to show my colors to people who do not even know me? I got asked this question in one meeting this week. These questions made me think before I answered. Yes. Life is too short not to give the truth about yourself—only that way can I find the people that resonate with me. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a season. Some people stick with your glow and start glowing themselves. Some people will always listen to you when you have important things to say. Some become your mentors, and some your students.

I have learned to love people and hear their stories. I am curious about people’s naked and ugly truth; it makes us who we are. Nothing tells more about you as a human than how you survived the deep end.

Be kind & don’t go changing
x Heidi



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