A Guide: How to Be Your Own Best Friend

Published: September 25, 2023
Author: Heidi Uskaure
”Hey there, I'm Heidi! I launched this blog back in January of 2023 and I'm having a blast writing in a laidback style. Although, my ultimate goal is to become a pro writer one day. Thanks for joining me on this journey!”

We all have that one friend who’s our go-to for advice, comfort, and support during life’s ups and downs. But what if I told you you could be your best friend? Practising self-compassion is the key to nurturing a kinder and more supportive relationship with yourself.

The past month has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride for me. I’ve experienced a whirlwind of emotions, faced physical challenges, and even tasted a bit of disappointment. But through it all, I’ve come to embrace the ebb and flow of life, reminding myself that sometimes it’s okay just to be.

 

The Weight of Emotions:

I emphasise acknowledging our emotions and understanding that they are transient. We should not judge ourselves for feeling tired, emotional, or like we’ve failed. In fact, embracing these emotions and allowing them to be is a key aspect of self-compassion and emotional well-being. Remember, emotions are messengers, and we can gain valuable insights into our inner world by listening to them without judgment.

Over the past month, my emotional state could be described as a mix of exhaustion, vulnerability, and a sense of failure. It’s not always easy to admit when we’re feeling down, but acknowledging these emotions has been a crucial step in my journey. Sometimes, it’s okay not to set grand goals for ourselves and allow our feelings to be. Reminding myself of it recently has taken a lot, but it’s not impossible.

 

Battling with Health:

My physical well-being took a hit recently as I battled plantar fasciitis, followed by a bout of flu and high fever that ultimately evolved into pneumonia. These health challenges drained my energy and sidelined me from my regular activities. It’s been a vicious cycle, and I haven’t had the power to write or exercise. But in this downtime, I’ve learned that setbacks allowed me to reconnect with my body and listen to its needs.

 

Lessons from Failure:

The key is to see failure as not a dead-end but a stepping stone to growth. I tried my taxi driving theory test this week but fell short by one point. It was disappointing, and I couldn’t help but feel frustrated initially. However, I’ve come to terms with the setback, understanding that it’s not about the money or the momentary failure but about the lessons learned and the determination to try again.

Rather than dwelling on the disappointment, focus on the lessons learned and the determination to try again. In this way, failure becomes a valuable teacher on your personal and professional development path.

 

Stress-Free State of Mind:

The importance of mindfulness and being present in the moment. Your stress-free mind amidst challenges can be attributed to your acceptance of the current circumstances. By staying grounded and not letting stress overwhelm you, you are practising the kind of mindfulness often promoted as a way to find peace and clarity amid chaos. Surprisingly, despite the challenges, I find myself in a stress-free state of mind. Perhaps it’s the acceptance of my circumstances and the understanding that things are beyond my control.

 

Reporting Progress:

It is vital to see the significance of setting boundaries and managing your time effectively.  The work obligations always persist, and I often find myself juggling numerous meetings and the responsibility of reporting on a substantial project my team has been tirelessly working on. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep excitement in the rollercoaster wagon; therefore, it’s good to ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that might happen?” Keep yourself on schedule, but give yourself time to enjoy the ride and see things around you instead of being laser-focused all the time.

 

In my gratitude journal:

Reflecting on this month’s journey of acceptance and recovery, I’m reminded that life is a series of peaks and valleys. It’s essential to embrace our feelings, care for our physical and emotional well-being, and learn from our failures. Each experience, no matter how challenging, contributes to our growth and resilience. So, here’s to acceptance and to whatever the future may bring.

It’s not a secret. A guide on how to be your best friend is practising self-compassion, and anyone can do it. Treat yourself with the kindness, understanding, and patience you would offer to a dear friend facing similar challenges or setbacks.

This means Positive Self-Talk: Replace self-criticism with self-encouragement and self-acceptance. When you make a mistake or face a difficult situation, speak to yourself as you would to a friend, offering support and comfort.

The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.
– Brené Brown

Only one letter separates the words “Friend” and “Fiend.”

Navigating the labyrinthine of self-love and acceptance can feel like teetering on a precipice, where the single letter ‘r’ in “friend” and its absence in “fiend” represents the fine line between embracing oneself and falling into self-doubt’s abyss. The road to self-love is often fraught with challenges, where our own thoughts and perceptions can turn into harsh adversaries. The slightest shift in perspective can transform our inner dialogue into a comforting companion, akin to a steadfast friend, or unleash a relentless fiend that feeds on insecurities and self-criticism. It’s a reminder that the battle for self-love and acceptance can be precarious, and at times, the line between being our own most significant supporter and harshest critic can be deceptively thin.


Be kind (also to yourself 🙂 ) & don’t go changing,

x Heidi

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