By the horns

Category: Business | Coaching | Mindset
Published: February 15, 2023
Author: Heidi Uskaure
Hi! My name is Heidi, and I have been a business owner for five years. At the moment, I write casually, but I aim to be a professional writer.

Throughout the day, my mind throws at me at least 10-15 new ideas and opportunities to grasp. Today I took two of them and put them into an incubator. I have two close acquaintances with whom I have worked together for around two and a half years. I also got them into the BNI, which has benefited them quite nicely. We took that other idea of mine and tossed it around between each other today. I think a lot of people have great ideas, but not many of them are willing to do the work to make them become a reality. Great ideas require a lot of work. It’s really about being persistent and seeing it further. It works like weight loss; if you don’t see results immediately, it doesn’t mean it’s not going forward.


Start with programming yourself

Mindset is the set of assumptions, theories and beliefs we have agreed to (consciously or unconsciously) to make our life easier. This helps us to understand ourselves. The way we think influences the way feel, how we behave, and the results that we produce for ourselves. To learn how we think, we must start by understanding how our brain works. Our brain is the organic physical matter inside our skull. Our mind is what happens inside our brains—the functions and programs that guide our thoughts and actions.

Nature of our brain:
  1. Likes Stories
  2. Drawn to what’s familiar
  3. Attracted to symmetry
  4. Craves consistency
  5. Always looks for ways to save energy

The best collaboration you can have is between yourself and your brain. According to Marisa Peer, one of the best therapists on the planet, you need to know four things about your brain that will transform your life.

These four things are:
  1. The mind does precisely, specifically, what it thinks you want it to do
  2. Your mind is hardwired to move you towards pleasure and away from pain
  3. The way you feel about everything all the time is down to two things:
    1. The pictures you make in your head
    2. The words you say to yourself
  4. Your mind loves what’s familiar

If you feed your brain with words such as “I don’t like this” or “I don’t feel like doing this”, you’re telling your mind that you don’t want to do it; and if your mind thinks you don’t want to do it, it will encourage you to procrastinate, and not apply yourself. Our minds do what we tell them. It is hard to reach the next level if you constantly tell yourself: “this is too hard; it’s too complicated, and it takes all my time.”


Changing the patterns

Studies after studies identify that we humans run from difficulties. Our minds are linked to avoiding pain. So, if you had an experience of failing at something when you were younger, the brain will try and protect you from it happening again. However, the best part is that we can choose what pain and pleasure are in our daily lives.

Our brains work differently with fixed mindsets and growth mindsets. When we face a problem with a fixed mindset, the brain isn’t motivated enough to solve it, but with a growth mindset facing the problem is more towards “I can’t solve this yet, but I will do my best to learn.” What if you look at your behaviour, and if you haven’t got what you want, perhaps you aren’t telling your brain the right things? Imagine what you then could achieve if you said to yourself, “I choose to do this”, “I love to give this presentation”, “I want to take responsibility”, or “I am good at this”. And even if you fail, you can say, “I can’t do this YET”.

I have applied this method to every uncomfortable thing I do for myself, making it so much easier to give a presentation to bigger groups of people I haven’t met before, use discipline to get myself to the gym, introduce myself to strangers and make them feel easy in my presence. It makes it easier for people to connect with me. The process, in the end, is quite simple—you command your brain precisely what you want, and it will give it to you. Try it.


Be kind & don’t go changing,



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