When a taxi passenger tells me they have cancer, many are surprised by how precisely I know what to ask. Some ask me straight out how I know. Others are left wondering.
I know because at 18, I had Hodgkin lymphoma, a cancer of the lymph nodes.
It started with a cough
First came a dry cough and shortness of breath. Breathing felt heavy. Then my lymph nodes started to swell. That's why my mum and I finally went to see a doctor.
At the health centre, they took blood tests, and my CRP was over 300. The chest X-ray showed that the space around one of my lungs was full of fluid.
Four days on the ward
I spent four days on the ward, and they took blood tests every day. On the second day, they removed a lymph node from my neck for a biopsy and drained fluid from around my lung with a needle as long as a chopstick. The fluid was the colour of peaches.
Monday turned into Thursday, and I got to go home. The following Wednesday, they asked me to come back. That’s when they told me I had lymphoma.
I was living in a bubble
How is an 18-year-old supposed to deal with cancer?
You don't.
I spent that time living in a bubble. My studies were put on hold, and I had to take a gap year I never chose.
My dad started teaching me to drive. The first time we went out to practise was on the frozen sea, right here in Vaasa. And funnily enough, now I drive a taxi for a living.
What helped me keep going
My dad. He went into semi-retirement when I got sick and drove me to my treatments every other week.
Nature. I went for a lot of walks.
The cat my family got me after I was ill.
And one number: how many chemo sessions were left before I got the all-clear.
What it left me with
An understanding I don’t always need to bring up.
Scars the treatments left all over my body.
Even though I remember fighting cancer like it was yesterday, I don't see life through the lens of the illness. It left me with a lot of good things, too, like appreciating my own health and the small, simple things.
A lot has happened in my life since then. And despite the illness, I’ve been blessed with two healthy children.
Back to the back seat
When a passenger tells me about their cancer, I often don't mention my own. I know the right questions to ask. And almost always, it's enough for them to notice that this person understands and has the patience to listen.