My Journey: It’s my 35th Birthday

Published: July 29, 2023
Author: Heidi Uskaure
”Hey there, I'm Heidi! I launched this blog back in January of 2023 and I'm having a blast writing in a laidback style. Although, my ultimate goal is to become a pro writer one day. Thanks for joining me on this journey!”

Hello! For all the new readers, I’m happy you found this blog. My name is Heidi, and I’m on my journey to become a writer and author.

“I’m a hugger,” said one who strongly resonated with me. I thought of sharing something personal and in-depth about my background. My parents gave me the name ‘Heidi’, and today is actually my 35th birthday. You have no idea how often I have heard the story of a girl living in the Alps who does the yodling when people hear my name. I already expect that when it comes to foreigners, ‘Heidi as in…’ ‘Haha, yup.’ I live in the small city of Vaasa, Finland. And I have grown so curious about the world, history and cultures. It all has much to do with my self-discovery and finding what ignites me; individual stories.

Vaasa is a small coastal town where energy companies converge to create a Nordic hub for energy technology in Finland. I plan on still living here for another ten years. I often thought there was something wrong with me when, many times, I couldn’t connect with other Finnish people in-depth compared to how I fluently converse with foreigners. I have accepted this, and I am someone who loves celebrating diversity. It has taught me a lot about cultural differences. Mostly, I enjoy simple joys of life, such as cycling, moments with friends, and writing these heartfelt narratives on my blog. I enjoy morning and afternoon strolls, listening to music and podcasts, reading and socialising. My curiosity takes me to places I do not belong to learn more. I plan on making a van my home at a certain point in my life, and I am starting to drive a taxi soon to practice van driving, earn some extra cash, and, of course, create a space for stories. It takes me one step closer to my dream.

My good friend came to take some personal brand photos of me earlier this month, and I thought of going out to celebrate my 35th birthday journey with a picnic amongst my friends and dancing my heart out. To think of it how I used to be too shy to dance.

My Background

My parents worked for the same international energy company in my town, ABB. My mom did the cleaning job for the longest time before getting another job creating products from resin in the same factory. Working in that job, however, exposed her to some fumes, which caused her to have constant sinusitis. After getting it examined, she shifted to work as an assembly worker in low voltage products in another factory. My dad worked for over 40 years for the same company, doing the assembly work for more prominent electrical centres; these were the size of a small phone booth. Both of my parents have been hardworking individuals. My dad does plot garden farming today and keeps busy with hobbies such as bowling and helping others. We were practising disc golf with him and my daughter this week. My parents are Christians and have been married for over 50 years.

While my parents worked diligently, they also raised six children, and I am the youngest among my three big brothers and two big sisters. Presently, my parents are blessed with six grandchildren, including my daughter. One of my most significant sources of life support is my older sister, Kirsi, who also looks up to me, and we share a mutual admiration. She once told me that having just 10% of my positivity would brighten her life significantly. She has been there for me during difficult times, especially when my marriage was falling apart. I have fond memories of my youngest brother, who, during our childhood, climbed to the top of our two-floor apartment building, amusingly dropping soap bubble liquid on me while I tried to reach him. Over the years, we played video games together; I used to sit next to him countless nights, watching him play some RPG. Today we go for strolls together, and he hunts Pokemons automatically same time.

Music

Music has been with me throughout the years. I can’t imagine my life without music. My taste in music goes to UK and Australian folk and indie without me paying too much attention to it. I have favourited over 1500 songs over Spotify, yet even if I recognize the song; I might not know its name or artist because I often do something else while listening and hop to Spotify to favourite one when I love it.  And then, later, I pay attention to festival commercials and spot familiar names and “UK” at the end of the artist. I have made playlists that inspire me to write, which you can find here.

I have become keen on listening to soul-stirring folk-infused pop with horns, yes horns, trumpets, and brass instruments to elevate the music. My upbeat, light part loves Little May, Noah Kahan, Nina Nesbitt, Jonah Kagen, Smith & Thell, and George Ezra. And then the darker side in me loves Barns Courtney, Billy Raffoul, Teddy Swims and LP. I often consider the songs I listen to masterpieces; they have everything to set my soul on fire. Let’s not forget The Queen or Ed Sheeran. Two giants whose concerts I’ve already been to.

My Life Trials

I battled with Hodgkin’s Disease when I was 17 years old. I remember that year still quite well. It was rough to endure 12 chemotherapies at that age, amongst countless examinational procedures, but I’m sure it had some meaning for my future. Then recently, going through a complicated divorce set me on the path of resilience, and my self-awareness grew with it exponentially. What followed from there was poetry that became a powerful outlet for my self-expression and healing. Today I feel good in my skin and rely on systems, not goals.

“Loneliness is a kind of tax you must pay to atone for a certain complexity of mind. When you’re in a deep mind space, few will understand your position, and few will share your thinking pattern and appreciate that space you’re in”.

It’s a quote by Alain de Botton from The Lifebook. I have been struggling with loneliness, and this quote helped me realise why. Perhaps, one day I will meet someone with the same mind space.

A while back, I came across another quote:

“People can say what they want, but romantic love fills spaces in our hearts that other love just doesn’t.”

And just like Danny, who said, I’m not wasting my life on pause for someone either. I love myself, and I love my life. However, it is proven that romantic love increases our well-being in hormones and cellular growth, while loving your partner elevates your already great ideas. I tend to listen to my intuition and heart. I tell myself I’m not in a hurry; perhaps it’s how it’s meant to be.

Why did I decide to approach writing?

If you’ve had the chance to read my previous blog posts, you might notice that I’m currently on a journey of growth and self-discovery, and it’s a path I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon, if ever. This process has become a significant part of my life, introducing new experiences and people and uplifting every aspect of me.

Last year, I began journaling, and it’s been an incredible explorative journey, allowing me to delve into my core, uncovering more about myself and my true identity. Some might find talking about it this way a bit fantastical, but you know what? I’ve reached a point where I no longer care about others’ opinions. And it’s okay; people are different. This journey is mine to embrace, and I love every step. My journals led me into writing, and now I aim to become something beyond what I ever thought possible. Until last year I never considered myself a writer of any kind.

If I had to choose a superpower, I would choose kindness. Learning to respond to adversity with compassion and empathy could impact me and others. Though I guess if I chose a completely different route in my life now, I would probably pick something like archaeology as my profession due to my curiosity about inventions, history and culture. Perhaps then, the best superpower could be seeing through walls or something…

My beliefs

After going through some struggles, you might wonder how they affected my beliefs. I consider myself spiritual; I believe in the existence of different dimensions and reincarnation. I also believe that if you allow it, the Universe will provide for you. While some may find solace in organized religion, I adhere to the notion of reaping what one sows and the idea that death itself isn’t something to be feared. I believe that people are free to adopt beliefs that resonate with them. We are all unique, and it’s perfectly fine to embrace diverse beliefs as long as they help us thrive and do not harm others. In fact, I think diversity should be celebrated.

I hold the belief that the longest journey one can take is from the head to the heart, and unfortunately, many people never embark on that path. Moreover, I strongly believe that dogs are truly humans’ best friends. I have two beloved older dogs who have been a constant source of comfort and support for me. They have been my guiding light, pulling me through the darkest times when I needed it the most. The thought of letting them go devastates me, but their companionship has been invaluable.

Finding inner peace is also an essential aspect of my belief system. This is who I am, and I live as I want to, staying true to myself.

If I were to offer some advice, I’d say that we are all storytellers in our own right, so we should embrace that power and write our own stories. Cultivate expertise in something you are passionate about and cherish it. Work hard, but focus on building systems rather than being solely driven by specific goals. And above all, always remember to be kind to others.

Ps. Always celebrate your birthdays.

Be kind & don’t go changing,
x Heidi

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